first time book author

Here’s what noone tells you about depression….

it is not just sadness. it is the thief of motivation. the inability to construct a future even if you have the right tools….

I want to be a blogger and children’s  book author. I need to at least find side freelance work to supplement my income. I’ve paid for my own website, tried to find a niche, come up with ideas and story lines for children’s books and yet I cannot break through the glass ceiling to find my success…. and I find myself frustrated and depressed and I disappear from my blog or writing project and do nothing at all…. I need to find a successful mentor…. someone who has broken through that impenetrable ceiling and succeeded to give me some advice…. tell me what I am doing wrong and how to improve. Help. Please. There are so many things going wrong that I’m not sure I’m legally allowed to talk about in my worker’s comp case that I just feel paralyzed.

Help. For the love of whatever deity you believe in, please. Help.


It’s All About (The) STRUGGLE

Yea. So its been rough.  I was told that my heart is twisted to the right in my chest and ventricular contractions are premature meaning my blood isn’t fully oxygenated. I have to go have a stress test and wear a halter monitor for 24 hours to see how severe things are. Its scary.
On top of that, I can’t seem to keep any weight on. Its literally falling off of me. I weigh like 99 lbs. and I’m exhausted. ALL. THE. TIME. They took me off antidepressants in case they were contributing to the problem. WITHDRAWAL SUCKS.

But I’m still pushing through, going to work, working on my children’s book.  I am determined to make a positive difference in some small way no matter what life throws at me!